THE GRAND KAISER AUGUSTUS VICTORIA
A Tragedy in the Style of Shakespeare
DRAMATIS PERSONAE
AUGUSTUS VICTORIA - Grand Kaiser, consumed by tyrannical ambition
ANCIENT KING OF BABYLON - An exiled prophet, bearer of dark visions
KING OF MU - Ancient ruler in exile, serene and wise
KING OF ATLANTIS - Fallen sovereign, eyes heavy with lost glory
CONVIVILIATYICUM - The Kaiser's serpentine advisor
GENERAL RANDSTANDAFARIAN - A conflicted military commander
BROTHER INVICTA - A conspirator in the shadows
VOLUPTASUEVIUS - Voluptuous figure of allure and cunning
SURVIVOR BEGGAR - Voice of the oppressed masses
SURVIVOR LABORER - Worker risen in rebellion
SURVIVOR MATRON - Prophetic voice of the people
COMMANDERS, SOLDIERS, GUARDS, NYMPHS, FRIENDS OF THE KINGS, and THE MOB - Voices of the oppressed and corrupted
Scene: A storm-lashed palace built upon ancient pyramids
ACT I, SCENE I
Thunder crashes. Lightning splits the darkness. Enter AUGUSTUS VICTORIA, crown askew, flanked by trembling COMMANDERS. A restless MOB presses at the gates.
AUGUSTUS
[To the heavens] O Ancient spirits of sunken Mu! What spectral voices whisper in the storm? The earth herself bore me in thunder's marriage—Grand Kaiser, devourer of realms!
[Turning to the mob] Behold them—that ravenous beast that fills our coffers yet hammers nails in our coffin! They bleed the nation dry, yet without them we are nothing. Draw all unto me, like iron to the magnet!
[Soliloquy, pacing] One supreme bastard over a legion of bastards! We'll crown the fool Solomon in his ignorance. Brother Invicta whispers—they'll never see the trap. Let them strike first at this skull—I'll shatter their hands like empires past!
Enter the ANCIENT KING OF BABYLON from the shadows, wild-haired, eyes hollow with centuries of exile.
ANCIENT KING
[Voice like cracking stone] Five hundred years in jungle exile—and still Babylon burns in my dreams! These walls I clawed from primeval depths to witness time etched in pyramids' mockery. Must I bow to society's chains?
The years devour me. My mind feeds the reptile in my breast. This nation, gorged on false visions, chases salvation at train stations while spirits dance in unholy rites beneath the ocean's veil!
[Clutching his head] 'Twas the day I cast aside the Green—O torment! Fling off regimentation's yoke! Not charity's weak crutch, but the anvil of true strength! Who trusts the tinker with his slobbering maw? What dark thoughts brew in thy imperial mind, O Kaiser?
AUGUSTUS
[Drawing close] Behold this watch—its gears unwind like fate itself! In Siberian skies, dragons cleave the clouds where once mammoths roamed. We camp in treetops thick as conspiracies, bound for horizons where wolves sing dirges to the bloody dawn!
To Atlantis we'll soar, to kneel before the Morning Star—tilt Earth upon her axis, banish night eternal! The filthy mob hungers for my dragon-hoarded gold, but reptilian pulse denies them. I cannot feed the void.
Enter CONVIVILIATYICUM, gliding like shadow, maps clutched like weapons.
CONVIVILIATYICUM
[With oily grandeur] Hail, Grand Kaiser! Plans infernal I offer—great works shall rise like thunderheads, our armies span oceans vast! Steel limbs where wooden walls once stood, to crush the globe in destiny's vise!
[Unfurling maps] This barren desolation holds souls scarce and unworthy. Hail Jupiter's bolt! Hail Victoria's eternal flame!
AUGUSTUS
[Roaring] Commanders! To me, ye craven hounds!
They assemble in terror. AUGUSTUS draws his dagger and slays three in a whirlwind of blood.
AUGUSTUS
[Enraged soliloquy] What would Stalin's iron ghost command? These maps of blood and gold—this wasteland clutches power as our final hold! Riches rot without the masses' beggary.
When the mob erupts like Vesuvius, they'll ravage like famished wolves. Unleash the demons at the brink—is it our lash breeds this chaos, or sin's black root in their cravings?
[Voice rising to thunder] I am god-enthroned—my roar drowns the people's whimper and Senate's bleat! Mere barnyard filth they be—heap hay upon their troughs! They'll gorge and bellow like castrated bulls. Grand Kaiser floods them with fodder, and obedience kneels!
Behold the sands: wealth entombed for five hundred years! Strike now while foes lie prostrate! The mob worships sacrifice—offer them to our greater glory!
GENERAL RANDSTANDAFARIAN
[Quavering but defiant] Where, dread lord? Over what shadowed realm?
CONVIVILIATYICUM
[Triumphant] Precisely! Even thy generals bow—it must be done! From Montezuma's halls to Mediterranean's flow, lend me your fractured minds! What deed demands our hand?
AUGUSTUS
[Sword clashing on stone] No jest in this! I am fate's hammer—this ambush must blind them all! Carthage shall burn, her treasures plundered!
Generals, proclaim to the legions: bread for the wretched this eve, wine to thaw their veins! For cripples and beggars, grant one night of bliss—let them drink to oblivion and hymn thanks to their merciful Kaiser!
Exit AUGUSTUS amid crashing thunder.
GENERAL RANDSTANDAFARIAN
[Aside, with venom] What plague worse: ignorance or apathy? O Brother Invicta, we've birthed a monster—stupidity's crown, egotism's throne! I clamp my tongue lest laughter rend me at his cretinous convulsions. Even carnival grotesques spout wiser folly—these Kaisers are a race apart from gods and men!
Thunder. Exeunt all.
ACT I, SCENE II
A desolate courtyard beneath storm clouds. Torches flicker, casting dancing shadows. Enter BROTHER INVICTA, cloaked and restless, joined by GENERAL RANDSTANDAFARIAN. The MOB's distant cries rise like a tide.
BROTHER INVICTA
[With venomous whisper] O night, shroud of bold treasons! What madness reigns where Augustus struts like Jove yet stumbles as a fool? His epileptic rages mock the throne—a spastic godling spitting froth and fire!
Randstandafarian, stalwart blade—doth loyalty chain thee still, or doth thy heart incline to freedom's call?
GENERAL RANDSTANDAFARIAN
[Voice torn, clutching sword] O shadow of rebellion, my soul is rent! I swore to serve this Kaiser's will, yet every bellowed edict scalds like molten lead. His mind—a shattered helm clashing with dreams of dragons and hoarded gold.
He speaks of Stalin's shade, of Montezuma's halls, yet knows not where his armies should tread! The mob hungers—their bread tonight, their wine, mere fleeting bribes. Come dawn, their knives shall seek his throat.
BROTHER INVICTA
[Eyes gleaming] This Augustus, puffed with vainglory's wind, proclaims himself magneto to the world, yet draws but rust! The mob is not his strength but his undoing. The sands he covets shall be his pyre.
We must be wolves, not sheep—let his own folly be the noose we tie!
Enter CONVIVILIATYICUM from shadows, eavesdropping.
GENERAL RANDSTANDAFARIAN
[Anguished] His maps are madness, scrawled in fever's grip! What king decrees such chaos—jet-skis, sweet apples, dragon-flight? I saw him slay three captains with a blade, invoking Stalin's ghost to bless his cause.
The mob will rise—shall we stand guard or join their righteous roar?
BROTHER INVICTA
[Seizing his arm] Join, brave general! The Kaiser's crown is but paper, his throne crumbling lies and bones. He'd tilt Earth to bask in endless light, yet cannot see shadows at his feet!
Release the jails, he cries—but who shall wield the blade when chaos reigns? We'll raise a new dawn where reason reigns!
CONVIVILIATYICUM steps forth from shadows.
CONVIVILIATYICUM
[Mocking bow] What seditious airs echo in this haunted gloom? Speak ye of treason 'neath the Kaiser's roof? His ears, though mad, are sharp, and I do hear venom dripping from thy tongues.
Beware—one word to Augustus, and your heads shall roll!
BROTHER INVICTA
[Undaunted] Scorn thy threats, fawning parasite! Thy maps are scribblings of a knave, thy loyalty a cloak for private gain. The Kaiser's dreams are fevered phantasms—dragons, Atlantis, apples sweeter than roses!
Join us or stand aside—when the tide of wrathful voices breaks, no map shall save thee!
CONVIVILIATYICUM
[Cold laugh] Join thee in madness equal to his own? I'll weave my webs where power lies, and power shifts like storm-blown sands. The Kaiser's rage is but a tool—his gold, his armies, all shall bend to me.
The mob ye court is but a mindless beast; I'll ride its back while ye are trampled low.
GENERAL RANDSTANDAFARIAN
[Half-drawing sword] Enough! My heart's a battlefield, torn between honor's oath and reason's cry. The Kaiser's edicts ring like clanging chains—bread for beggars, blood for barren lands!
Yet treason's path is steep, and death its toll. Can we trust the mob to crown a king, or will they burn the world in unbridled lust?
CONVIVILIATYICUM
[Sly smile] Foe or friend? The wind decides my course. I serve the Kaiser's will—till better comes. But mark this truth: the mob's a fickle flame. Today they feast, tomorrow they devour the hand that feeds.
Distant MOB roars grow louder, mingled with clashing steel. Storm intensifies.
BROTHER INVICTA
[Defiant, raising fist] Let tempests rage and mobs unleash their might! This Kaiser's reign shall end in fire and night. Randstandafarian, cast thy doubts to wind—join me, and we'll forge a dawn anew!
GENERAL RANDSTANDAFARIAN
[Agonized] O heavens, guide my faltering steps! I'll weigh thy words against my soul, but till dawn, I serve—yet watch, and wait.
CONVIVILIATYICUM
[Departing] Then watch, and wait, and pray the storm abates. For Augustus' wrath is but the spark—the mob's the blaze that burns the world to ash.
Exit CONVIVILIATYICUM. MOB's cries swell: "Bread! Wine! Kaiser!" Lightning splits the sky.
BROTHER INVICTA
[Softly] The hour is near. Choose thou the side of fate.
Exeunt as storm roars.
ACT I, SCENE III
The squalid streets beneath the palace. Torches illuminate ragged CITIZENS huddled in clusters. The air reeks of stale bread and spilled wine from the Kaiser's "gift." Enter the MOB: a BEGGAR, a LABORER, a DISGRUNTLED MATRON, and others clutching loaves and flagons, eyes burning with hunger deeper than food.
BEGGAR
[Waving a crust like a scepter] O cursed night! What mockery from yon Grand Kaiser? A crumb of bread, a draught of sour wine—to warm our bones one fleeting eve, then cast us back to shadows!
We, the mob, the lice upon his throne, who swell his coffers with our sweat yet craft his coffin in our secret hearts. Why do we stir? 'Tis not mere belly's growl—the gold he hoards like dragons while we conjure coin from broken walks!
LABORER
[Slamming fist to palm] Aye, brother! We've forgotten freedom's cry, lost in false visions and trainyard haze. The feckless rich, self-righteous in their towers, dance upon our backs—no more, I say!
We're not mindless—we're wolves awake, herded into cities like tame beasts, but now we scent the blood of tyrants foul! His hoard, his lies—decimation in our ranks while he swims in gold!
DISGRUNTLED MATRON
[Eyes wild with fervor] The Ancients whisper still—from jungle exile comes the Babylon king, proclaiming empires' fall! We are the flare that strikes in lightning's moment!
We've clawed from primeval walls to claim what's ours: the wealth beneath barren sands, five hundred years denied! Why bow to Augustus' fits while we queue for cabbage soup, thin and glorious poor?
BEGGAR
[Laughing bitterly, swaying] Yet mark how fickle we, the faceless throng! One speech sways us to noble cause, then tears turn us to bloody rage. Like winds we shift—are we but programmed sharks, or rational flames in protest's blaze?
History's mobs burn with fear and zealotry, yet grievances true. We crave sacrifice—the Kaiser's head for greater cause we claim!
LABORER
[Voice rising to roar] Then let us be organized in wrath, leaderless yet one! No more hiding in basements while assassins plot his end. We'll turn the tide ourselves—reflect on crimes done in his name!
The sky caves not, but empires do! Our hearts may be reptilian, but we hoard naught—we seek the Morning Star, paradise from forgotten ground!
DISGRUNTLED MATRON
[Ominous] Beware our swarm's psychology—mass manias that drive markets and thrones to ruin's edge. We are the dirty horde, bent on destruction if bread turns to stone.
Yet in this bent, a beauty: denied no more! Hail the mob—for we fill coffers, fashion coffins, furnish tombs!
The MOB erupts: "Down with the Kaiser! Gold for the mob!" Thunder cracks as SOLDIERS' shadows approach. A palace spy lurks in the gloom.
BEGGAR
[Aside, with dark irony] Ignorance or apathy? Who knows, who cares? We are the storm—rational, yet wild as beasts. Let Augustus quake; our motivations burn!
ACT I, SCENE IV
The palace gates, battered by storm's fury. The MOB surges forward with torches, chanting "Down with the Kaiser! Gold for the mob!" Guards falter. Enter AUGUSTUS from within, flanked by COMMANDERS and CONVIVILIATYICUM. From shadows emerge BROTHER INVICTA and GENERAL RANDSTANDAFARIAN. The ANCIENT KING lurks as spectral observer. Swords drawn, voices clash like thunder.
AUGUSTUS
[From battlements, voice booming] What howling tempest dares assault my throne? Ye filthy curs, ye lice-infested horde! I am Grand Kaiser, magneto divine, whose will bends nations to my forge!
One night of bread and wine I grant in grace—yet ye repay with torches' baleful gleam? Begone, ye zombies of soulless desire! Who stirs this chaos? Speak, or feel my wrath!
BEGGAR
[Leading the MOB, torch aloft] O tyrant bloated on our sweat and tears! Thy bread is bitter, wine a poisoned jest—we starve while thy coffers swell with gold!
We are the mob who fill thy vaults yet fashion coffins for thy fall! Thy reptilian heart denies our needs while we conjure coin from broken walks. Cast off thy chains—we rise for freedom forgot!
LABORER
[Axe in hand] Aye, Kaiser fool! Thy epileptic fits mock the throne—demented spastic, cretin crowned! We heed no more thy maps of barren waste, thy dreams of dragons sweeping o'er the dawn!
The dirty mob craves justice, not thy alms. Release the jails? Nay, we'll storm them first!
DISGRUNTLED MATRON
[Rallying cry] From Babylon's exile, the king returns—proclaiming empires crumble, as shall thine! Thy voice drowns only Senate's braying fools. We are wolves no longer chained—assassins prowl thy door!
The MOB surges closer, clashing with guards. AUGUSTUS draws his dagger.
AUGUSTUS
[Enraged, spitting fury] Traitors all! Conviviliatyicum, summon legions! Randstandafarian, crush this rabble—or join them in the grave!
What would great Stalin do? Slay three for sport, as I did generals past? This Carthage must burn, its riches mine! Ye demand more gold while I swim in hoarded wealth?
CONVIVILIATYICUM
[Aside to AUGUSTUS] My lord, thy plans divine shall crush this storm—steel arms across oceans!
[To the MOB, slyly] Peace, good folk! The Kaiser hears thy pleas—more bread, more wine!
GENERAL RANDSTANDAFARIAN
[Stepping forward, sword half-drawn] O Kaiser, thy rage blinds thee to the tide! The mob's not mindless—their grievances burn true. Thy edicts mad, thy slayings folly's mark—I serve, yet doubt devours my loyal breast!
BROTHER INVICTA
[Emerging boldly] Enough of shadows! Augustus, face thy doom! Thy throne's a jest, thy crown a dimwit's guise. The mob and I unite—Brother Invicta strikes true!
ANCIENT KING OF BABYLON
[From shadows, prophetic] From jungle's exile, five hundred years of woe, I proclaim: Babylon crumbles, as doth this! The years obsess with reptile ghosts—too young for epiphany, yet truth dawns harsh.
'Tis desiccation of the soul—lust denied, we are but frost! The nation forgotten, gazing over Ocean's mist!
Confrontation escalates: MOB clashes with guards, swords ring, torches fly. AUGUSTUS roars commands, CONVIVILIATYICUM schemes retreat, RANDSTANDAFARIAN wavers, INVICTA charges. Lightning strikes as chaos reigns.
AUGUSTUS
[Final bellow] Treason's tide shall break on my iron will! Generals, to arms! This night, we crush the beasts!
Thunder crashes. Battle erupts in earnest as curtain falls amid the storm's fury.
ACT II, SCENE I
An opulent palace chamber, dimly lit by flickering candles. Gold coins spill across the floor like a dragon's hoard. AUGUSTUS VICTORIA lounges upon a throne of velvet and bone, robes disheveled, goblet in hand. The storm has subsided to brooding drizzle, but thunder echoes faintly. He soliloquizes, voice mixing bombast with weary disdain.
AUGUSTUS
[With manic glee, then gravity] O dawn's delight in base pleasures crude—fine mutton for my feast, with custard-smeared follies piled like muddied pies! Yet cast this sullied garb to rubbish heap—I buy anew, and thee, thy towns, whole cities if I will!
[Laughing] Ha! I jest, for power's thrill I crave. They flood my coffers, begging horrors foul—what sin, when basest urges rule? A storm of mad deconstruction, inconsolable!
Where bounds my joy? I am Augustus grand, sky-bearer on shoulders broad—if I but shrug, all tumbles down! Better in my grasp than thine—sweet Stanistan, soon my Staniland, rich beyond dreams!
[Voice rising] How wise Augustus, victorious Kaiser sent to serve by being folk's will—like Stalin great, Big Brother's love denies thee naught. The rest? Thou buy'st, gorge on trinkets vain!
I'd laugh to see thee starve on streets, toss coin for bread—come, dine on paper scraps! Thou claim'st I hoard? Naught wrong nor right, mere acceptance's creed.
[Contemplative] We count our billions in cold halls—I am good man, yet trust not power, nor liars like me. Four hundred generations, lifetimes void—no soul of worth I've met! Such joys, yet same faces weary me.
Trust me—I am the people's will! Defy all voices, even mother's plea, or Great Father's ghost who forged this realm at cost. Is morality in shining deeds, or actions as need demands for greater cause?
Enter VOLUPTASUEVIUS, voluptuous figure of allure and cunning, clad in silks. She approaches with graceful menace.
VOLUPTASUEVIUS
[With honeyed venom, circling throne] All day thou grumbl'st, gnawing bones like cur—what delight in rule o'er Babylon's hordes? Slaves thine, soldiers loyal to thy whim?
Behold my form, exceptional and chosen. Dost tire of women? Crave confession? Do past deeds haunt thy sleep? What's done is stone, unchangeable as fate.
[Voice hardening] Victoria arrives this very breath, Augustus—eternal in its grasp! Thou know'st not jealousy's bite, nor rage that gnaws thy flesh. I'd laugh to see them grovel, eating scraps, devouring kin ere doom.
A selfishness reptilian drives thy acts! Thou art their will—insanity's crown! Cast superstition's yoke aside; brain's logic feeds the ego, heart's the dart to wickedness.
They deem us fallen angels, yet sell their wives for crusts! Hope dwells where hearts unite—no place like home, simple life's true right. How many broken in this race 'gainst foreign folk?
AUGUSTUS
[Leering, then with absurd flattery] Thou look'st gorgeous this day! 'Tis indeed a morn of rare sensibilities.
VOLUPTASUEVIUS
[Archly] What's that?
AUGUSTUS
[Grinning foolishly] That's this!
VOLUPTASUEVIUS
[Teasing] Nice...
AUGUSTUS
[Petulant] Only nice? Call me Ronaldo!
VOLUPTASUEVIUS
[Mocking] Why?
AUGUSTUS
[Boastful] I am the Grand Kaiser!
VOLUPTASUEVIUS
[Wry smile] Thou said'st Ronaldo but a moment past.
AUGUSTUS
[Sulking] Thou always demean'st me!
VOLUPTASUEVIUS
[Innocently] I wasn't doing anything.
AUGUSTUS
[Accusing] I could tell by how thou look'dst at me!
ACT II, SCENE II
A lavish banquet hall within the palace, aglow with torches. Tables groan under exotic feasts: roasted veal, mutton, exotic delicacies. Gold coins scatter the floor amid writhing NYMPHS OF BABYLON in silken garb, dancing in debauched revelry. Wine flows freely. Outside, through barred windows, the courtyard echoes with the MOB's agonized cries and clashing steel as guards beat them mercilessly.
Enter AUGUSTUS VICTORIA, flushed and crowned, reclining on cushioned throne, goblet in hand. VOLUPTASUEVIUS attends him. SERVANTS scurry with platters while NYMPHS cavort. Faint screams pierce the revelry from without.
AUGUSTUS
[With gluttonous roar, tearing into food] O rapture of the morn! Fine mutton upon my tongue, with veal's tender kiss! Heap delicacies high like earthen pies—away with sullied robes, I buy anew!
[Laughing maniacally as a NYMPH approaches] Care I? Nay! For power's fire I crave when Babylon's nymphs entwine my throne—though now those curs meet steel in courtyard's bloody fray!
What mortal sin, when kin we are in urges base? Here I feast, sky-bearer supreme—better in my grasp, this hoard, this flesh divine! Sweet Stanistan mine, riches untold!
VOLUPTASUEVIUS
[Feeding him morsels while caressing] Wise Augustus, people's will incarnate—like Stalin great, denying thee naught! When causes fade, beliefs fail, they buy, they gorge—yet I'd see them starve on streets!
[Voice hardening] Naught wrong nor right—acceptance's creed alone. We count billions in cold halls while conspiring. Thou good man, yet trust not power's liars like thee.
Four hundred generations void—no soul of worth! Same faces weary; crave the fresh! Trust thee—defy all, even mother's plea. Morality in deeds, or needs for greater cause?
A NYMPH entwines with AUGUSTUS in explicit embrace. Outside, a piercing scream: "Mercy, Kaiser!" followed by brutal thuds.
AUGUSTUS
[Amid revelry, gesturing to window] Hark! The mob's sweet symphony—beaten to dust! Filthy curs, lice of my realm, now crushed beneath boot! They filled my coffers, fashioned coffins—now tombs await!
[To VOLUPTASUEVIUS] Tire I of women? Past haunts? What's done is stone; future inevitable—Victoria eternal! Jealousy I know not, yet rage gnaws at them on all fours, devouring kin in logic cold!
They sell wives for bread, deem us fallen angels! Hope in hearts united? How many broken against foreign folk afar?
VOLUPTASUEVIUS
[Sultry amid writhing bodies] Thou look'st gorgeous this feast! Special sensibilities for this excellent fray.
AUGUSTUS
[Grinning lewdly] What's that?
VOLUPTASUEVIUS
[Teasing] That's this!
AUGUSTUS
[Petulant] Nice... only nice? Call me Ronaldo!
VOLUPTASUEVIUS
[Mocking] Why?
AUGUSTUS
[Boastful] I am the Grand Kaiser!
VOLUPTASUEVIUS
[Wry] Thou said'st Ronaldo but a breath ago.
AUGUSTUS
[Sulking, then laughing wildly] Thou demean'st me ever!
ACT II, SCENE III
The palace dungeons, dank and shadowed, where chains rattle like ghosts' lament. Flickering torchlight reveals bloodied survivors of the MOB—prisoners huddled in despair, guarded by grim SENTINELS. Enter BROTHER INVICTA, cloaked and furtive, slipping past shadows with a bribed guard. GENERAL RANDSTANDAFARIAN follows hesitantly, face etched with guilt. The air reeks of defeat and brewing vengeance. Distant echoes of the orgy's moans filter through stone walls, cruel counterpoint to prisoners' groans.
BROTHER INVICTA
[Whispering fiercely, rallying the chained] O wretched kin, ye battered souls! The Kaiser's feast devours our brothers' cries—while nymphs entwine in debauched ecstasy, our blood stains courtyards red!
Hark to their moans above, wine-splashed and vile, as Augustus gorges on mutton's yield! He jests of throats slit at dawn, hurls carcasses from heights—yet claims the people's will!
We, the mob, once filled his coffers—now fashion coffins for his fall! Though chains bind flesh, our hearts ignite. The sky he bears shall tumble if we shrug! This greater cause demands his blood!
SURVIVOR BEGGAR
[Weakly, yet with fire] Aye, Invicta! We clawed from primeval walls to claim the buried gold—five hundred years denied! While he swims in hoarded wealth, we starve thin, dining on paper scraps he tosses!
He'd devour all, but we object with blades! Trust not his liars—four hundred generations void, no worth! Break these chains, storm the feast above!
SURVIVOR LABORER
[Rising painfully, voice a growl] The nymphs debase for his delight—yet we, coerced innocents, penetrate no more! He shrugs not the sky, lest all tumble—but we shall shrug his empire to dust!
Sweet Stanistan his? Nay, our land free! We buy no more—we'd see him starve on streets, devour his own kin!
GENERAL RANDSTANDAFARIAN
[Stepping forward, torn] O Invicta, thy words pierce loyalty's veil—I heard the thuds, the cries midst orgy's din, as Kaiser's laughter drowned the dying gasps.
He, good man with wife? Yet nymphs entwine, Voluptasuevius whispers temptations sly. They sell wives for bread—yet deem him fallen angel? Hope in hearts united is simple life's right!
I waver, brothers—serve I this madness still, or join thy cause? The future inevitable—Victoria eternal, or doom's dark tide?
BROTHER INVICTA
[Seizing RANDSTANDAFARIAN's arm, eyes ablaze] Join, general! What's doubt but revolt's sharp blade? For thou art the people's true will now! Storm the halls above, end the feast in blood—his throat slit at dawn!
A distant alarm echoes. The survivors rattle chains, eyes fierce.
SURVIVOR MATRON
[With ominous chant] Arise, ye chained! The age of cant cast aside—no place like his crumbling throne!
ACT II, SCENE IV
A hidden cloister beneath the palace, where flickering lanterns cast eerie shadows on damp stone walls. The air is heavy with mold and conspiracy. BROTHER INVICTA, GENERAL RANDSTANDAFARIAN, SURVIVOR BEGGAR, SURVIVOR LABORER, and SURVIVOR MATRON gather in secret, faces taut with resolve. Above, the orgy's echoes have faded, but distant groans of the beaten MOB linger. A single SENTINEL, bribed and uneasy, stands watch. Thunder grumbles, signaling storm's return.
BROTHER INVICTA
[With fervent whisper] O ye bruised remnants of the mob's fierce heart, gather close in this shadowed womb! Above, the Kaiser gorges on his lusts—nymphs writhe, wine stains the gold, while our kin's blood crusts the courtyard stones!
His jests of throats slit at dawn mock our pain—yet we are not base beasts, no rats in scorched mazes! We filled his coffers, forged his coffin's nails—now carve his tomb with vengeance swift!
The people's will he claims, yet spies only to sell our souls. He'd see us starve on paper scraps while hoarding our Staniland's wealth! What motivates this fire? Emancipation lost, dehumanization's sting! We are wolves awake, our hearts aflame with lust for justice!
SURVIVOR BEGGAR
[Clutching stolen dagger] Aye! His feast of mutton and piled delicacies insults our want! He buys cities while we gnaw dregs. Four hundred generations void—no worth he sees, yet we are molecules of fire!
His nymphs debase for coin while innocents weep. We'd shrug his sky to ruin! Truth's veil rent by our blades—trust not his lies nor power's guise!
SURVIVOR LABORER
[Rising, fists clenched] Morality in deeds? Nay, needs for cause! His delicate affairs are lunacy's plea, not empire's might! Sweet Staniland ours, not his to hoard!
Let him choke on custard while we storm halls where wine and flesh entwine! The mob's not fickle—rational flames we burn, leaderless yet one, for greater cause united!
SURVIVOR MATRON
[With prophetic zeal] From Babylon's exile, we rise as kings! His orgy's din drowns our brothers' cries, yet we hear the Morning Star's call!
Cast cant aside—no place like his crumbling throne! Hope dwells where hearts unite—abundance's age, not struggle's infernal race! We sell not our souls for bread—fallen angels no more!
GENERAL RANDSTANDAFARIAN
[Stepping forward, trembling with resolve] O comrades, thy words sear my wavering soul! I saw the courtyard's slaughter—blood like rain, while Kaiser's laughter mingled with nymphs' moans.
Voluptasuevius, serpent fair, urged his sins—yet regrets gnaw him not! I tire of loyalty's chain to this madness. Join I this cause, for Victoria's tide turns—eternal doom, or freedom's dawn?
Enter VOLUPTASUEVIUS, gliding silently from hidden passage, silks shimmering like predator's scales. The SENTINEL gasps.
VOLUPTASUEVIUS
[With icy allure] What whispers echo in this cloister's gloom? O Brother Invicta, Randstandafarian bold—ye plot where Kaiser's gold outshines the stars?
His feast above—mutton, veal, and lust—yet here ye scheme to slit his throat at dawn! I see all, and deem thee fools to think this throne shall break. The mob's a flame, but Kaiser's fire burns fierce!
BROTHER INVICTA
[Undaunted, stepping toward her] Away, thou siren of the Kaiser's bed! Thy form tempts not our righteous steel! His past haunts not, but ours shall haunt his dreams!
Future inevitable—Victoria's fall, not rise! Join, or slink back to orgy's dregs where wine and flesh mock our pain! The mob's united—abundance's dawn!
VOLUPTASUEVIUS
[Mocking laugh] Join thy doomed cause? Nay, I dance where power lies. His lunacy's my stage—delicate deeds I weave.
Yet I'll hold silence, for now—plot on, ye fools, but know the Kaiser shrugs not sky alone. Thy rebellion's weight may crush thee first!
Thunder cracks louder. Conspirators draw closer, daggers gleaming, as MOB's distant wails rise anew.
SURVIVOR LABORER
[Roaring] Enough! We storm the feast—his throat our prize! Let nymphs and gold drown in our righteous flood!
Exeunt, shadows merging with storm's roar, lanterns flickering out.
ACT III, SCENE I
A barren wasteland on the empire's fringes, where winds howl like mournful spirits. Ancient ruins crumble under stormy sky, and meager fires flicker amid hovels of rags and stone. Here dwell the ANCIENT KINGS OF THE LAND—exiled sovereigns stripped of crowns and realms, living in humble poverty, kind and fair to all who cross their path. Enter the ANCIENT KINGS: KING OF BABYLON, gaunt and wise; KING OF MU, serene in rags; and KING OF ATLANTIS, eyes heavy with lost glory. Their FRIENDS—loyal retainers in tatters—gather round, weeping openly. Thunder rolls as if heaven itself laments.
KING OF BABYLON
[Voice cracked by exile's woe, kneeling on barren earth] O ye Ancients of forgotten realms, behold this poverty's embrace—our crowns dissolved, our lands devoured by tyrants' greedy maw!
Yet in this dearth, we harbor kindness pure, fair to all souls, from beggar low to bird aloft. No hoard we clutch, no gold like dragons vile; we share the crust, the cloak, the fleeting fire.
But hark! The slaughter's cry pierces the night—the poor, our kin, beaten to death's cold gate, while Kaiser's orgy mocks their dying breath! Friends true, weep on; your tears are heaven's dew. What is sovereignty without the just?
KING OF MU
[Raising hands to stormy heavens] Kind and fair we stand, though landless ghosts, exiled from Mu's sunken halls of light. No pyramids we claim, no fertile fields; yet mercy flows from hearts unscarred by greed.
The mob's brave surge—crushed beneath boot and blade—their blood cries out from courtyards soaked in red! O friends, ye weep as rivers for the slain, the poor who filled his coffers, now entombed.
We pray to God above, whose justice sleeps—awake, O Lord! Redeem these broken souls, smite the reptile throne with thunder's righteous bolt! For in our poverty, we see truth's gleam.
KING OF ATLANTIS
[Embracing a sobbing FRIEND] Fair to all, we kings in rags proclaim—no barbed walls fence our humble, open hearths. Our friends, ye weep bitter floods o'er slaughter's grim tableau: the poor laid low, their lust for justice quenched in gore!
While Augustus feasts on mutton's sin and nymphs' debased delight, the courtyard echoes with their final gasps—beaten to death, like lice beneath heedless heel!
O God of redemption, hear our fervent plea: justice descend like rain on parched despair! Tilt Earth's axis anew, flood his gilded halls, as Atlantis sank for hubris' heavy toll. We, poverty's kings, pray for the slain—may their souls find repose!
FRIEND OF THE KINGS
[Weeping, falling to knees] O noble kings, ye paragons of grace, landless yet lords of virtue's boundless realm! We bewail the poor's cruel fate—slaughtered like beasts while Kaiser's laughter rings!
Their freedom lost, voting in vain against oppression's chain. We pray with thee to God for swift redress: redeem the innocent, bring justice's dawn! May retribution turn on him who wields it!
KING OF BABYLON
[Joining hands in prayer, all kneeling as thunder booms] United in poverty's kind embrace, we weep, we pray—O Lord, grant redemption pure! For slaughter's shadow veils the land in night, yet justice's light shall pierce the tyrant's heart.
Amen, amen—let hope from ashes rise!
The group bows in solemn prayer as winds whip fiercer, lightning flashing like divine wrath. Distant palace bells toll ominously.
ACT III, SCENE II
A desolate plain before the palace, lit by a turbulent sky where comets blaze like divine torches, streaking in fiery arcs. Thunder rumbles, and spectral glow bathes the scene. The ANCIENT KINGS OF THE LAND—KING OF BABYLON, KING OF MU, and KING OF ATLANTIS—march with resolute steps, clad in tattered robes yet radiant with humble majesty. Their FRIENDS, loyal retainers, and a swelling tide of the PEOPLE—survivors of the mob, ragged and fierce—join their ranks, wielding makeshift weapons and torches. Above, an ethereal host of ANGELS, faintly visible through storm clouds, marches in celestial synchrony. The palace looms ahead, gates barred, as AUGUSTUS's guards brace for conflict.
KING OF BABYLON
[With voice like rolling thunder, raising staff] Onward, ye exiled kings and people wronged! From poverty's embrace we march as one, kind and fair, though landless, crowned by truth!
No hoard we clutch, no gold like dragons vile—our wealth is justice, pure and unbesmirched. Behold the comets' blaze, heaven's fiery script, proclaiming favor for our righteous cause!
The slaughtered poor, their blood yet warm on stones, cry out for redemption—God hath heard their wail! With angels' host above, we storm the palace where the Kaiser feasts, his orgy's din a mockery of our grief!
KING OF MU
[Pointing to sky, eyes alight] See how the heavens join our tread! Angels of Mu, lost in sunken tides, now soar, their wings a beacon through this storm-wracked night!
Comets streak like lances of divine wrath, blessing our path to smite the tyrant's throne. In poverty we dwelt, yet kind to all, sharing crust and cloak with beggars' kin.
But now the people swell our humble ranks—no illusions cloud their sight, no chains bind their hearts! We march to end oppression's sting, to break the bonds of despair!
KING OF ATLANTIS
[Brandishing broken scepter] Fair to all, we kings in rags proclaim—no barbed walls fence our souls! The people join, their torches rival stars, as angels march in heaven's vaulted host!
The slaughtered poor, beaten to death's cold gate, weep not alone—our tears with theirs entwine. Augustus gorges while blood pools red where once our brothers stood.
O Lord of light, whose favor streaks the sky, tilt Earth anew—let his empire drown in shame! We pray for justice, for the meek's redress!
FRIEND OF THE KINGS
[Rallying the PEOPLE] O noble kings, ye beacons of the just! In poverty ye shone, kind to every soul—now lead us forth where comets light the way!
The angels' march above, their wings a hymn, echoes our resolve to end this reign! The Kaiser's feast mocks our kin's slaughter. We, the people, rise with ye, no longer divided mob, but unified in fire!
SURVIVOR BEGGAR
[Brandishing torch] We filled his coffers, fashioned coffins dire—now tombs we'll carve with vengeance's sharp blade! His jests of throats slit at dawn, his orgy's din—nymphs debased for coin—are sins against our kin!
Comets blaze to bless our righteous curse—guide us to reclaim our land, not his vile hoard! No more chains, nor lies of false love taping our every move!
SURVIVOR LABORER
[Axe raised, roaring] Morality in needs, not shining deeds! His delicate affairs—wine, flesh, and gold—are lunacy's plea, not empire's might!
Angels above, comets' holy fire—ye sanctify our wrath to storm his gates! The people join—leaderless, yet one—to end his zenith's peak in our crescendo!
The PEOPLE surge forward, chanting: "Justice! Redemption! Down with the Kaiser!" ANGELS' faint hymns blend with comets' fiery streaks. GUARDS atop walls shout alarms, drawing swords.
KING OF ATLANTIS
[With final, thunderous call] O heaven's host, march with us, radiant throng! Comets, blaze on—God's favor seals our vow! No longer landless, we reclaim our right—to freedom's boundless light!
Forward, ye just, with angels at our side—let Augustus' throne in blood and ruin bide!
The ANCIENT KINGS lead the PEOPLE in relentless march, torches flaring, as comets illuminate their path. ANGELS' silhouettes pulse brighter, and thunder shakes the earth as the palace braces for siege.
ACT III, SCENE III
The palace throne room, breached and violated. Shattered stained glass windows frame comets blazing across a storm-torn sky. Ethereal light streams through the gaps, casting prismatic shadows that dance with each lightning flash. The ANCIENT KINGS—BABYLON, MU, and ATLANTIS—enter with measured dignity, their tattered robes somehow more regal than Augustus's gilt. Behind them surge the PEOPLE: BROTHER INVICTA with drawn steel, GENERAL RANDSTANDAFARIAN torn between oaths, the SURVIVORS bearing scars and fury. AUGUSTUS VICTORIA sprawls upon his throne like a bloated spider, VOLUPTASUEVIUS coiled beside him, CONVIVILIATYICUM clutching his maps like shields. GUARDS tremble at the margins. Above, barely visible through the storm, ANGELS' wings beat in celestial rhythm.
KING OF BABYLON
[Voice like distant thunder, each word weighted with centuries]
Augustus. Self-anointed prince of fools.
We come—not as conquerors drunk on blood,
But shepherds seeking one lost, maddened ram.
[Gesture encompassing the wreckage]
Behold thy kingdom's virtue: broken glass,
Thy people's bones ground into mortar-paste
To build thy pleasure-dome of wine and flesh.
What king devours his own children's hearts
Then calls it love?
AUGUSTUS
[Lurching upright, wine-cup shattering on marble]
Love? LOVE? I am their god incarnate!
Every breath they draw—my gift! Every coin
They clutch with trembling fingers—from my hoard!
I am the axis 'round which this world spins—
Remove me, and chaos swallows all!
[Voice rising to shriek]
Ye moldering relics of forgotten realms,
What power had your "virtue"? Where are your thrones?
Sunk beneath waves! Buried in jungle rot!
While I—I swim in oceans of their gold!
KING OF MU
[Serene as stone, gesturing to the comets]
Mark heaven's testimony—those burning stars
Write judgment in the sky's eternal book.
Not gold, but grace; not hoards, but open hands—
These lift a king above mere mortal clay.
[To the People]
We ruled in poverty, yet none went bare.
We shared the crust, the cloak, the dying flame,
Till kingdoms fell—but virtue never dies.
VOLUPTASUEVIUS
[Writhing closer to Augustus, voice honeyed poison]
Virtue? [Laughing] How sweetly they deceive themselves!
My lord's true virtue pulses hot as blood—
He takes what lesser men dare only dream.
Power is appetite—all else, pretense.
[To the Ancient Kings]
Your "kindness" was your weakness, toothless fools.
You fed your enemies; he feeds upon them.
KING OF ATLANTIS
[Eyes blazing with prophetic fire]
We fed—and lived! He devours—and dies!
For every throat he slits at crimson dawn,
A thousand more shall rise from blood-soaked earth.
The comets bear witness—this, thy final hour.
[Thunder crescendos]
Atlantis drowned for hubris less than thine;
What flood shall claim this palace built on bones?
AUGUSTUS
[Maniacal, dancing on his throne]
Let Heaven weep its tears of molten fire!
I am the storm—I am the flood itself!
Stalin's iron ghost walks at my right hand,
And on my left, sweet Lucifer's bright star!
[To the People]
See how they crawl, these "virtuous" ancient kings?
Begging scraps of mercy from their betters?
I offer gold—they offer empty prayers!
BROTHER INVICTA
[Blade singing as he draws it]
Enough! The hour of judgment tolls at last—
No more shall virtue bow to vicious might!
[To the Ancient Kings]
Stand with us, ye noble ghosts of realms—
Together we shall birth a world reborn!
GENERAL RANDSTANDAFARIAN
[Casting down his sword at Augustus's feet]
My oath to thee lies shattered with thy realm.
I follow virtue's banner, not thy gold.
SURVIVOR BEGGAR
[Weeping, yet fierce]
They speak the tongue of angels—we, of men
Who starve while tyrants feast on children's tears!
SURVIVOR LABORER
[Axe gleaming]
Let Heaven's lightning be our battle-cry!
For justice strikes with more than mortal steel!
SURVIVOR MATRON
[Prophetic]
The wheel turns—beggar becomes king,
And kings discover how the gutters taste!
CONVIVILIATYICUM
[Desperate, unfurling maps]
My lord! My plans—my gorgeous, bloody plans!
Steel across oceans! Empires built on—
AUGUSTUS
[Silencing him with savage gesture]
Silence, fool! Can maps hold back the tide?
Can schemes make angels flee?
[To all, voice cracking]
But I am AUGUSTUS! Grand Kaiser! I am—
I am...
[Pause, looking around at the encroaching crowd]
I am alone.
The chamber fills with ominous silence. Comets blaze brighter. Angels' wings beat like approaching thunder. The PEOPLE surge forward as AUGUSTUS staggers, crown slipping from his brow. VOLUPTASUEVIUS shrinks away. Lightning splits the sky, illuminating all in stark relief—the moment before the storm breaks.
KING OF BABYLON
[With infinite sadness]
Even now, repent—and live.
AUGUSTUS
[One final roar of defiance]
NEVER!
Thunder crashes. The final confrontation begins.
ACT III, SCENE IV
The throne room convulses in chaos. Steel rings against steel as comet-fire streams through shattered windows, casting everything in hellish, shifting light. The ANGELS' hymns swell to a crescendo of otherworldly beauty. AUGUSTUS VICTORIA stumbles backward, his golden throne toppling with a crash that echoes like thunder. GUARDS flee like rats from a sinking ship. VOLUPTASUEVIUS clings to shadows, CONVIVILIATYICUM clutches his useless maps. The ANCIENT KINGS stand unmoved amid the storm, their presence a calm eye in the hurricane.
Through the melee, the SURVIVOR BEGGAR moves with terrible purpose, a hidden blade gleaming in his weathered fist.
AUGUSTUS
[Blood seeping through his robes, voice cracking between rage and terror]
What... what is this? My throne... my golden throne...
The sky I bore upon my shoulders broad—
It falls! It FALLS! O Stalin's iron ghost,
Where art thou now? Where is thy promised strength?
[Clutching at empty air]
My billions counted in these cold, cold halls...
The people's will I was... I AM... I...
SURVIVOR BEGGAR
[Advancing like Death itself, voice raw with years of suffering]
For every child who died upon thy stones.
For every mother's tears that fed thy gold.
For all who starved while thou didst swim in blood—
[Strikes swift and true, blade finding its mark]
This blade speaks justice louder than thy roar!
AUGUSTUS
[Gasping, staring at the spreading crimson]
The wound... the wound that will not heal...
My hoard... my precious, glittering hoard...
Who... who will count my billions when I'm gone?
[Falling, voice fading to whisper]
The sky... I cannot... hold it anymore...
[Dies with a sound like wind through autumn leaves]
Silence falls like a curtain. Even the storm seems to pause. VOLUPTASUEVIUS flees shrieking into the night. CONVIVILIATYICUM slinks away, his grand schemes crumbling to ash. The PEOPLE stand transfixed, hardly believing the tyrant truly lies still.
KING OF BABYLON
[Stepping forward, voice heavy with the weight of ages]
So ends the reign of appetite unbound.
Yet mark us well, ye who have won this day—
The throne stands empty, waiting for its king.
[Removes his tattered crown, places it gently on the ground]
We who have ruled, who knew dominion's weight,
Choose now a different path. No crown we claim,
No scepter's burden shall we bear again.
KING OF MU
[Joining his voice to Babylon's]
Let power flow like water to the sea—
Not hoarded in one vessel, cracked and stained,
But shared among the many, pure and free.
We fade to shadows, nameless as the wind.
KING OF ATLANTIS
[With quiet finality]
The ocean called our empire to its depths
For this same sin—believing gods we were.
Choose better, ye who follow in our wake.
The ANCIENT KINGS begin to retreat, melting into the crowd like mist before dawn.
BROTHER INVICTA
[Reaching toward them]
Stay! Rule with wisdom earned through exile's pain!
KING OF BABYLON
[Pausing, with gentle smile]
Wisdom lies not in crowns, but in the choice
To lay them down. Live well. Rule yourselves.
The ANCIENT KINGS vanish into the crowd, becoming indistinguishable from the common people.
GENERAL RANDSTANDAFARIAN
[In wonder]
They... they simply walked away from power.
SURVIVOR BEGGAR
[Still holding the bloody blade, voice breaking]
Then what... what do we do now?
A moment of profound uncertainty. Then, slowly, the PEOPLE begin to move. Tables are righted, food appears—not hoarded, but shared. Wine flows, but to celebrate, not to numb. Music rises, but it is the music of community, not conquest.
SURVIVOR LABORER
[Laughing with disbelief]
We feast as equals—none above, none below!
SURVIVOR MATRON
[Embracing former enemies]
The work begins now—harder than the war.
BROTHER INVICTA
[Looking around the transformed room]
No emperor's crown... but perhaps something better.
The celebration that follows is not the frenzied orgy of Augustus's reign, but something deeper—a communion of souls who have found their way back to each other. The comets fade as natural dawn breaks through the windows. The ANGELS' voices soften to a whisper, then to silence, their work complete.
THE PEOPLE
[In a voices that harmonize rather than chant]
Let justice flow like rivers to the sea,
And mercy bloom in every human heart.
The crown is cast aside—we choose to be
Not subjects, but the authors of our art.
The curtain falls on a transformed world—not perfect, but possible.
FINIS